My Rant Against Jim Leyland
Okay, when will the press finally decide that the post-game interview with Jim Leyland after a Tigers game is pointless. The man has NOTHING interesting to say, and his flair for stating the obvious is just sad.
Press: “So, Jim, your guys won tonight. What were they doing out there that just felt right?”
Leyland: “Well, when they were up to bat, they tried to hit the ball. They tried to hit it so the other guys couldn’t catch it. They tried to hit it hard. If we had a guy on base, the batter would try to help move the guy to the next base or the next or even home, which is really good. Sometimes they bunted and sometimes they didn’t. They tried really hard not to strike out. They took their walks when they got them. The bats were made of wood.”
Press: “Yeah, okay, and what about your defense? Defense looked really good. What specific things did you like out there on defense tonight?”
Leyland: “Yeah, defense was good. Verlander was really throwing some special stuff. He’d try to throw it in such a way that the batter couldn’t hit it. He tried to strike out the batter. He tried not to walk the batters. When the ball was hit right back at him, he tried to catch it. In fact, all the guys tried to catch the ball when it was hit at them. If they caught it before it hit the ground, that was an out. Outs are good for us…unless we’re up to bat. Then they’re bad. What our guys were doing was trying to stop their guys from going around the bases and getting home. That was our major strategy on defense. Catching a ball with a glove on doesn’t hurt as much as bare-handed.”
Press: “Jim, you realize you say the same thing every week.”
Leyland: “Hmm?”
Press: “Never mind…So, what’s your plan after tonight.”
Leyland: “Well, I’m going to head out to my car. If I locked the door, I’m going to unlock it. I’m going to sit in it either way. I’ll use the key to start it. When I shift into drive, or reverse if I’m going backwards, I’m going to keep my foot near the brake either way. It’s just safe. When I’m out on the road and I want to turn, I’m going to turn the wheel in the direction I want to turn. If I want to go faster, I’m going to use the gas. I’m going to try not to crash. If I want music, I’ll turn on the radio. If not, I’ll leave it off. If I want to switch lanes, I’ll—“
Press: “Well, Jim, that’s all we have time for. Thanks for driving our remaining viewers to other stations. See you next week for more of the same.”
Press: “So, Jim, your guys won tonight. What were they doing out there that just felt right?”
Leyland: “Well, when they were up to bat, they tried to hit the ball. They tried to hit it so the other guys couldn’t catch it. They tried to hit it hard. If we had a guy on base, the batter would try to help move the guy to the next base or the next or even home, which is really good. Sometimes they bunted and sometimes they didn’t. They tried really hard not to strike out. They took their walks when they got them. The bats were made of wood.”
Press: “Yeah, okay, and what about your defense? Defense looked really good. What specific things did you like out there on defense tonight?”
Leyland: “Yeah, defense was good. Verlander was really throwing some special stuff. He’d try to throw it in such a way that the batter couldn’t hit it. He tried to strike out the batter. He tried not to walk the batters. When the ball was hit right back at him, he tried to catch it. In fact, all the guys tried to catch the ball when it was hit at them. If they caught it before it hit the ground, that was an out. Outs are good for us…unless we’re up to bat. Then they’re bad. What our guys were doing was trying to stop their guys from going around the bases and getting home. That was our major strategy on defense. Catching a ball with a glove on doesn’t hurt as much as bare-handed.”
Press: “Jim, you realize you say the same thing every week.”
Leyland: “Hmm?”
Press: “Never mind…So, what’s your plan after tonight.”
Leyland: “Well, I’m going to head out to my car. If I locked the door, I’m going to unlock it. I’m going to sit in it either way. I’ll use the key to start it. When I shift into drive, or reverse if I’m going backwards, I’m going to keep my foot near the brake either way. It’s just safe. When I’m out on the road and I want to turn, I’m going to turn the wheel in the direction I want to turn. If I want to go faster, I’m going to use the gas. I’m going to try not to crash. If I want music, I’ll turn on the radio. If not, I’ll leave it off. If I want to switch lanes, I’ll—“
Press: “Well, Jim, that’s all we have time for. Thanks for driving our remaining viewers to other stations. See you next week for more of the same.”
posted by Jeff Vande Zande at 6:58 PM
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